seharusnya bahagia

sering kali gw bingung, dan bener2 ga habis pikir, kenapa sebagian orang susah sekali rasanya buat bahagia. dan ga peduli sekeras apapun usaha gw buat bikin mereka bahagia, tetep aja ga ngefek. bahagia sih bahagia, kelihatannya. hmm... bahagia semu kali ya? bahagia edan eling. bahagia now you see it, now you don't. bukan bahagia sejati. bahagia kw.

dan gw, yang kalo nonton topeng monyet aja udah ngakak bahagia dunia-akhirat, geregatan sama orang2 macam ni. apalagi kalo pas nonton acara tv "orang pinggiran". duh, rasanya pengen tereak ke telinga mereka: "WHY WOULD YOU BE HAPPIER??!??"

ah, tapi percuma.. bahagia itu kan datang dari dalam diri. bukan ciptaan orang lain. you are happy, when you want to be happy. no matter how hard others want you to be happy, but if you refuse to be happy, then you'll never be happy.


oh well, so help them God.. *sigh*

antara gw, mario teguh, dan engapnya hidup

Gw bukan fans berat pak mario teguh, meskipun gw suka dan menikmati kata2 motivasi beliau. Gw ga rutin bin rajin selalu nonton acaranya di tv. Bisa dibilang, kek acara2 tv lainnya itu, gw edan-eling nontonnya. Kalo pas cenelnya kena klik remote aja, dan kebetulan lagi mood nontonnya. Lepas dari itu, buat gw mario teguh salah seorang motivator hebat yang dimiliki Indonesia. Udah, itu aja. Gw ga tau banyak tentang beliau, apalagi ngoleksi buku2nya.

Tapi satu, gw nge-like page fb mario teguh. Status2nya yang penuh hamburan kata2 positif itu selalu menghiasi timeline. Meskin kek acara tv-nya, gw selalu edan-eling bacanya. Kalo pas ketabrak mata aja. Nanti klik "like" or sesekali nge-share. Mungkin pada dasarnya gw suka hal2 yang memotivasi, positif, ga mellow, galau, dan ujung2nya bikin males hidup. Cpd.

Meski kek gitu, namanya manusia normal, ada kalanya mood gw drop. Ngerasa dunia udah ngecewain gw. Bosen. Cape. Engap. Dan di saat2 kek ini lah ntah gimana critanya, mata gw malah selalu berhasil nangkep basah status2 surgawi pak mario teguh salam super. Selalu nyambung binti konek sama masalah gw saat itu. Dan ini sebenernya yang (juga bisa) nambah gw uring2an. "Njrit, kok bisa tau sih?!??" Hahaa!

Dan begitulah status2 mario teguh slalu njedul outta nowhere di tengah2 kekisruhan hati gw yang lagi ngebul kemrungsung.

Hmphh. Andai hidup gw semudah status mario teguh. Tapi meski gw tau bicara lebih mudah daripada ngejalanin, gw bakal coba. At least niat berlaku positif toh ga ada salahnya. So, waktu (contohnya) pak mario teguh bilang,"Sana gih, gembirakanlah dirimu", gw bakal mak jenggirat bangkit dari leyeh2 letoy geje itu, trus jawab,"Oke pak! Siap!!" Trus ngacir mak whuzzz ntah kemana, dan mungkin nabrak gerobak bakso, trus gw jatoh, dengkul bonges, jidat benjol, badan keguyur kuah panas, diomelin abang bakso, dll dst etc etc.. Tapi sambil meringis megangin dengkul yang bedarah gw tau bahwa gw lagi "otw". Yup, I'm on my way to pursuit my happiness. Menggembirakan diri gw, seperti kata status pak mario teguh salam super :)

remember this

It's not about you
It's never about you
So don't think
Never ask
Please
For once..
Just don't think bout yourself
No such things
Exist in your life
Whatsoever
Accept that
Release
And live with it
You'll get some rest,
when He tells you so
So just keep your mouth shut
And be there.

seharusnya...

seharusnya yang marah itu gw..
yang dongkol juga gw...
yang uring2an kan gw...
yang protes, demo, gugat itu kudunya ya gw..

hmphh.

males
percuma
ntar malah ga kelar2

just want this task done and me get some rest.

crap

- darn. Now what I've done.
+ lu sih, anak orang diketawain
- well, can't help it dude! It was so funny!
+ maybe for you, but not for him.
- I mean c'mon.. It's like being ababil in love. D'oh?!
+ maybe that's just what he is.
- what?
+ sweet and kind, and full of attention.
- yea right.
+ well you don't know him better either.
- I don't. But that's not him that I know after all.
+ still you know him as a good person. You said that yourself to him.
- I did. I just want him to respect himself. Stop feeling pathetic. I hate people overview themself like that. Underestimate them own self.
+ and now that he sees and acts himself as a nice attentive full of love man, you LAUGHED at him?
- hey! I never meant to be rude, okay!?
+ yet that exactly what you did.
- I apologized. I said sorry.
+ and that's enough? He accepted. Everything's going well. Sky is blue. Birds are singing. People are smiling..
- stop it!!
+ oh, let me repeat.. Wait, that's not what exactly happening is that?? Right, I forgot. The good man has just left the scene!
- I was just protecting myself okay! It was not me. I never rude to anybody. I hate doing it myself. Why don't you understand??!!
+ protecting yourself?? From what? Protecting yourself from good people??
- this is all I have. I've to gather them back after scattered in pieces. I can't never let it ruin again. Tis all I have.. A wounded ol' heart.
+ still that's not a nice thing to do to others.. You know that. Of course you know that. What you're doing now, is nothing but selfishness. You're just thinking for yourself. Your feeling, you being hurt, you being your heart guardian angel whatever. You might end up hurting someone's feeling..
- why always others. What about me? Who then going to care for my feeling??
+ he did. And you laughed.
- which made him left
+ exactly.
- sigh..
+ y'know what, you're either too fool or too scared to fall in love. And I think it's the second one.

engap

Ah, gitu doang aja. Ga seru. Ibarat tinju, dah KO di ronde pertama. Hmpff.

Bosen. Kek nonton sinetron Indonesia Raya. Dah ketebak endingnya. Kudunya ga usah ditonton dari awal, tapi selalu nampilin intrik2 nan menggelitik yang bikin gw pengen ikutan utak-atik. Kalo kata Cesar, "nebak apa yang bakal terjadi itu ga bole. Ga bagus. Kerna itulah kemungkinan besar yang akan terjadi". Yah.. Tapi gimana lagi. Dah sering, jadi ya.. Well, tapi yang jelas ujungnya bener kan? Sama juga ama yang udah2. At least cukup ronde pertama aja kali ini. Should be proud of myself kudunya. Ga sampe larut dan penuh adegan pilem Indihe.

Sekarang masalahnya, kelarinnya gimana? Apa tunggu raib dengan sendirinya? Annoying juga nti kalo kelamaan. Kalo tomcat nah jelas, nempel bikin iritasi. Lha kalo ini?? Nempel ga bikin apa2 juga. Ga bikin perubahan juga. Jadi kenapa musti nempel kan?

Ah, terlalu banyak manusia cengeng nan galau belakangan ni pa yah?? Parahnya lagi, ga pandang gender. Dah kek alay penari latar.

Engap.

just another Wednesday..

you should never ever ever ever EVER come into my life.

EVER!